just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
