I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
