Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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