no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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