You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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