I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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