hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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