I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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