Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
