i would punch a child for taco bell
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
