you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
