What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
