You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize