I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
