U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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