He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
