there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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