but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
