I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
