I'd wear matching sweaters with you
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
