doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
