Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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