you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
