I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
