You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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