Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm always down for nudity.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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