The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
