Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
