I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My balls are so social today.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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