my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
