He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
