i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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