I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
