My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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