Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize