Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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