Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
