I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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