You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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