yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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