I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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