I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
