Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize