If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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