Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I met the friendliest cop last night
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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