It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
