Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
