I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
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