oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
