Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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