ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
