That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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