jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
my poor anus
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Randomize
