Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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