I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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