Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
