i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
