hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
you never un-have a 4some
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
