My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
