Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
