I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
