I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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