Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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