Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
