I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
