My first STD was from a foam party
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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