Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
