Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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